From Grand Theft Auto to Grand Theft Xbox

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Updated: February 26, 2012 1:18PM

Free of charge, we offer tales of stupid criminals, strange crimes, odd news and otherwise silly stories from around the area.

OAK PARK, DEC. 3 — Three young men were invited by another youth to an apartment on the 300 block of South Wesley Avenue to play video games. Upon arrival in the host’s bedroom, one of the kids, 18, pulled a gun and ordered everybody else to freeze while he grabbed two laptops and fled.

The end of a bright and shiny babysitting career

WESTCHESTER, DEC. 20 — A Hillside woman, 18, was charged with felony hit-and-run driving, six counts of failure to secure children in a car seat, failure to slow down to avoid an accident and driving with an obstructed windshield after she rear-ended a car at a Cermak Road stoplight, causing a four-car pileup. No kids were hurt; one of the other drivers was treated for bruises.

A good turn gets punished

NILES, JAN. 13 — A resident, 32, reported that a gentleman called him at his apartment on the 8800 block of Washington Street to ask for a ride home from drug rehab. When the resident got back, his Xbox was missing. He told the cops he doesn’t believe in coincidences.

Is there a future for us? I’ve recently come into some money ...

FRANKLIN PARK, DEC. 21 — A man held up a firm at 9645 Grand Ave. that specializes in sending money to Poland, for $2,184. After he told the employee to put the money in a bag, he asked the lady her name.

Cold hands make animals of us all

OAK PARK, DEC. 23 — A man who implied he was armed reached into another man’s coat pocket on the Oak Park Avenue CTA platform and took out a pair of gloves. He then got on a westbound train.

In the wind

WILMETTE, NOV. 30 — A cart got away from a shopper in the windswept parking lot of Jewel Foods, 411 Green Bay Road. When she saw a woman grab it, she appreciated that the other lady had apparently put herself out to prevent a car from being hit. She felt less appreciative later when she remembered that she had left her wallet and smart phone in the cart.

Lexus tastes on a Cannondale budget

ELMWOOD PARK, DEC. 15 — A thief stole eight packages of lobster tails from Caputo’s Fresh Market, 2400 N. Harlem Ave., and pedaled down 72nd Court to freedom.

They’ll never find him

OAK PARK, JAN. 8 — A man who stole an $800 iPhone from a store in the 900 block of Madison Street had a tattoo of a red star and a dollar sign on his forehead.

Because that’s where the dough is

PANERA BREAD STORES, JANUARY — Wallets were lifted from purses on Jan. 5 and Jan. 6 at Panera Bread, 305 Waukegan Road, Lake Bluff, and Jan. 9 at the Skokie Panera at 9611 Skokie Boulevard. Losses topped $13,750, mostly in fraudulent credit card use.

Nobody here but us midnight mechanics

OAK PARK, JAN. 13 — Police responding to a possible garage burglary in progress at 4:23 a.m. followed snow prints to the 700 block of South Lyman Avenue. There they found evidence of a break-in to a garage. Inside, they saw a pair of feet sticking out from beneath a car. They arrested their owner, who was held in lieu of $50,000 bond.

Pete Townshend-style assault

EVANSTON, JAN. 13 — A man recovering from broken ribs at Evanston Hospital told police that a Wilmette woman, 57, had beaten him the previous day with a solid-body electric guitar.

They’re still together — at 26th and California

NORTHBROOK, JAN. 11 — A mom, 58, and her live-in daughter, 25, made their escape from Home Goods in Willow Festival with a truck full of stolen goods, but they were easy to find. They left the tailgate down, and police could see all the reported stolen property heading west on Willow Road. The ladies were arrested after driving about four blocks.

She’s just sick about it

PARK RIDGE, DEC. 31 — A patient’s diamond necklace was reported stolen from Advocate Lutheran General Hospital, 1775 W. Dempster St.

Somehow, it sounds more impressive

FRANKLIN PARK, DEC. 19 — A man robbed the service desk of Jewel Foods, 10203 Grand Ave., claiming he had three guns. The clerk handed over about $350, and he left.

None of it was under his arms

WESTCHESTER, DEC. 19 — A Maywood man, 57, was detained by employees at Jewel-Osco, 2128 Mannheim Road, who removed two dozen deodorant sticks from his clothes, all of which they believed had been on the store’s shelves until very recently.

Sometimes, you’re glad you don’t wear a watch

NILES, DEC. 17 — A Buffalo Grove man, 34, told police that while outside a bar on the 6900 block of Milwaukee Avenue, a man drove up and asked him for directions. The man told police that the driver remarked he had a beautiful ring. Upon being given directions, the driver repeatedly thanked him and shook his hand. The driver stepped on the gas and was gone a second or so after the complainant felt the ring slip from his finger.

Sometimes it’s wise to just say yes

WILMETTE, DEC. 23 — A police officer, seeing a man throw garbage on the street at Lake Avenue and High Ridge, asked him to pick it up. The litterer then suggested, the police officer later wrote in his report, that he “commit an unnatural act.” The officer’s next act was an arrest. Naturally.

A small charge after all

BURR RIDGE, DEC. 29 — A homeowner called police to accuse her cleaning lady of stealing several Disney figurines. Police charged the maid with theft.

Well, he took something off ...

MORTON GROVE, DEC. 28 — Employees and customers of a restaurant in the 7000 block of Dempster Street grew wary when a man came in wearing a ski mask and didn’t order anything. When somebody got brave and asked him to take the mask off, he kept it on, but dropped his pants.